my friend felix. we all knew he’s a freak.

I just figured out, that people really tend to annoy me. I’m just not the person who wants to take care of other people’s problems. I don’t wanna be rude or something. But if you have emotional and personal problems, how am I supposed to do anything about that? So why tell me in the first place? So stupid! It’s not that I don’t care, what my friends feel or think, it’s just that I don’t wanna here them crying all day. I can’t help them in 90% of the cases…it just makes me feel bad too! Argh!

My best friend – I really, really love and adore her – has been crying on the phone for hours now. But the thing is, that I can’t help her if she has problems with her friggin’ boyfriend – if that’s really what he is. And if I do tell her what I actually think, she won’t even listen, because it hurts her or something. But then where is the point in talking to me? If she doesn’t wanna hear what I got to say. I don’t get it. It’s not like she’s the only one that does this. Nearly everyone does it. It’s annoying! I don’t understand the point of it.

Like I mean, if i feel bad about something I don’t even wanna talk about it to anyone, but the one person thats involved. If I have trouble with my boyfriend I talk to him and nobody else. Isn’t that natural? Fuck. I really don’t understand most human’s psychology. Am I an alien or something? Really this is pissing me off constantly. I don’t know what to tell her. It’s driving me nuts! The thing is, if I don’t say anything she’s gonna be mad with me. Hello?! So stupid, really.

So enough of complaining. Does anyone have an idea how to solve this problem? If not, I’m not gonna start crying at least…okay that was really rude now. Sorry.

My favourite book in the world is The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. If you want to read a really good book, read this one. I just love it.

The novel covers three days in the life of Holden Caulfield, a tall, skinny, anxious and depressed teenager who academically flunked out of Pencey Prep, a boarding school.

Holden is 17 when he tells the story; he was 16 when the events occurred. Holden’s story begins on the last day of the school year. He is standing on the crest of a hill that overlooks the football field where the final game of the season is being played. Instead of joining the crowd, he runs across the street to the residence of Mr. Spencer, his history teacher.

As Holden has been expelled, Mr. Spencer lectures him about the importance of hard work and education. Annoyed, Holden lies to get out of the discussion. He talks with old acquaintances at school and gets into a fight with his roommate before leaving for New York City, electing to stay there. He considers hitchhiking out west and building a cabin away from everyone he knows. At one point, he propositions an ex-girlfriend to join him on the trip even though he does not particularly like her. She declines his offer, suggesting that it is impractical.

The next day, Holden’s younger sister Phoebe tells him that she is going to leave with him. He angrily refuses, at which point she cries and refuses to speak to him. Knowing that she will follow him, Holden walks to the zoo, letting her anger dissipate.

Phoebe starts talking to Holden again, and Holden promises to forget about his plan to run away and return home on Wednesday. He buys her a ticket for the carousel in the park and watches her ride an old horse on it. As Holden watches her ride the carousel, his own mood lifts. Soon he is nearly moved to tears with remorse, longing, and bittersweet happiness.

At the end of his narration, Holden explains that he will be going to another school in the fall again but does not know for sure if he will start applying himself.

Now that I have another blog i might aswell start writing something. But my mind is sweeped. I’m ill and I have a headache made in hell so probably I better wait. Later I might post something halfway interesting. Maybe, maybe not. Anway, I’m off an away.

By the way:

Welcome to smilingeyes…